The boy who ruined me.
there once was a boy who saw me first
he claims to have never seen anyone so beautiful in his life
after a year of rejection, the sweet boy gave up on me.
but he got a girlfriend, who tore his heart out & ripped it to shreds.
he then tried once more for me.
we hung out at a get together & I slowly fell for my best friend.
he told me how beautiful I was everyday, how I would be his only love, how he would do anything & everything for me, he would keep me happy, he would never leave my side.
10 months of dating passed.
the boy went off to college.
all the sweet things started changing into insulting things
long paragraphs of text messages & sweet notes everyday in school turned into facetiming every night.
“having no time” became an excuse for not typing out sweet messages.
every time we saw each other became a hookup
he stopped calling me beautiful
he stopped treating me right.
pornography took over his college mind & he didn’t understand why I felt so ugly after I figured this out.
“you’re not my mom”
“I can do whatever the hell I want”
“stop telling me what to do”
became substitutes for
“I love you with all my being”
“I’m marrying you”
“i love calling you mine”
I could not break up with this boy.
we’ve shared too many memories, laughed too much together, we’re best friends.
but I am ruined & trapped.
because I can’t stop loving him.